Las Vegas 2008 - Friday! I should be rocking it. I should be rolling it. I should be taking it, taking it to you!
The best day in Vegas was Friday by far. The weather was to die for and we walked to the strip so I could see what this whole Vegas thing is about. Outside of the strip, Vegas is like a giant strip mall with cacti and palm trees. All the roads are 6 or 8 lanes across. The people drive like maniacs. Men in cars honk at you constantly when you walk down the street, it was very strange. Not if you are with a guy though. I had 5 people actually whistle at me out of their cars and on the street.
Yes, this whistle
The ridiculous size of Las Vegas struck me as we walked past the Convention Centre. It’s was massive. We then took the monorail to the Mandalay Bay/Luxor side of the strip. I kept on singing the Monorail song from The Simpsons.
We decided to hit up Luxor for some free drinks. The drinks were cheap and not really free. You had to be gambling, so Marija and I sat ourselves down at some penny slots. I actually was winning, I put in 2 bucks thinking I’ll get a drink and then jet. Lady Luck was on my side and I ended up walking away with 10 bucks.
We continued down the strip. The one thing I love about Vegas is drinking on the street. Marija and I drank large bottles of Red Stripe walking back to her place earlier. I hit sensory overload pretty quickly and some hotels we didn’t even visit like the MGM Grand (which is extremely tacky with that giant gold lion out front).
We ran into a Michael Jackson impersonator at the Bellagio fountains, only in Vegas. The Venetian is crazy, it’s like daylight in there. The canal was so cool and we chatted up the dude that was singing and driving the boat. It’s also where I got my new Adidas kicks. I couldn’t goto Vegas without getting a souvenir. I cut the tags off put my gladiators in a bag and walked out the door. They got lots of compliments. So boo to ye of little taste who gave them a thumbs down.
We continued along the strip and looked at flashing lights.
The night ended off at a bar called Aruba. In Aruba this is a back room called Club Aruba where all kinds of people showed up in fairy costume. There were girls getting body painted. A really great band that played funk and soul got everyone in the place moving. When the band stopped a drum circle started (ya, I know, a fucking drum circle). Percussion instruments were handed to people and they joined in while dancing. Only in Vegas. It got a little wiccan when the Tree God started dancing in the middle of the circle. The best thing of the night was the Unicorn Girl. I love you Unicorn Girl.
Some personal observations I made on this trip:
- American men think the Canadian accent is sexy or they think it’s strange with about and out and all that.
- American men are amazed at how hot Canadian girls are.
- American men aren’t afraid to talk me, even with the worst “don’t fuck with me” scowl on.
- Most American men have a connection to the military somehow. It seems that everyone we met were ex-military.
- There are a lot of overweight people in America.
- The short Mexicans handing out prostitute flyers are creepy.
- I think people who take their kids to Vegas have some issues.
- The tart look is very big in Vegas. The tourist look is second.
- Even if you are old and busted as long as you got those 36FFs you are the perfect waitress.
- I saw no panhandlers on the strip.
- Toronto is like the haven of recycling and environmentalism compared to Vegas. The waste was unbearable.
- Food portions are much, much to big for me.
- Buffets rule the roost in Vegas.
- Crazy shit happens in Vegas.
- I won’t stand in line to attend a club that Paris Hilton frequents.
I’m feeling indifferent to Las Vegas and I’m not sure I would go back. The strip at night is unbearable with people and I was very frustrated. Anyone who has ever walked with me will be laughing at this comment. I felt this lingering malaise hanging over the place; maybe most people don’t notice it. I had a fantastically, strange and surreal time. It was a blast to visit my friend Marija the biologist /world traveller and party like it was ‘94 again.
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